Despicable Me 3 (2017)
Lucy Wilde: [from trailer]
[spotting Gru and Dru with a weapon]
Lucy Wilde: So, you two are villains now?
[hides the weapon]
Gru: I mean, hello, sweetie.
Dru: [whispering to Gru out of the corner of his mouth] Busted...
Balthazar Bratt: Hello, Gru. How's your transition coming? You know, from world's worst villain to world's worst agent.
[pulls out a gun and aims it at Gru]
Gru: [sarcastic] Oh, that's hilarious. You should be on TV.
[slaps the gun away]
Gru: Oh, that's right, you were!
[aims the Freeze Ray and aims it at Bratt]
Gru: But then you got canceled!
Balthazar Bratt: [kicks the Freeze Ray away; pulls out a humongous gun and aims it at Gru] Ha ha!
Gru: Oh, what about that?
[punches the gun away and squirts a squirt gun at Bratt]
Gru: Whaa...? Ah, girls!
[throws the squirt gun at Bratt and throws punches at him]
Balthazar Bratt: [dodges the punches] Dance fight!
[dodges and dances as Gru tries to catch him]
Gru: Wait, did we...
Dru: ...just finish...
Gru: [laughs] Sorry, it's a twin thing.
Gru: You told me my father died of disappointment the day I was born!
Lucy Wilde: [about Dru's mansion] This place is amazing!
Dru: It's nice, I guess, sure.
[puts on sunglasses]
Dru: I'm not really into things...
[opens the doors, which reveals tons of red vehicles]
Agnes: The soup of the day, madame and monsieur. The Gummi Bears were my idea.
Gru: [Looks warily at soup] Mmm. Looks almost too good to even eat. Am I right?
Agnes: But I made it for you.
Gru: [Takes a spoonful, struggles to avoid retching] Mmm, mmm, mmm! Good soup! I love the combination...
Gru: ... of Gummi Bears and meat.
Balthazar Bratt: [On TV] Gum one, gum all!
Balthazar Bratt: "Gum one, gum all!" Seriously, how did this show not win an Emmy?
Gru: [from trailer]
[about Balthazar Bratt]
Gru: He's getting away!
Lucy Wilde: That's what he thinks!
Gru: [from trailer]
[to his Minions as they celebrate being villains again]
Gru: This does not mean that we are going back to being villains.
Valerie Da Vinci: [to Gru and Lucy] How could you let Balthazar Bratt just get away? You're fired!
[Fritz limps back]
Fritz: I really must...
[adjusts his spine]
Fritz: ... have a word with you on behalf of your twin brother, Dru.
Gru: Whaa? Twin brother?
Agnes: Twin brother?
Minions: Twin brother?
Agnes: [selling the Fluffy Unicorn] He's really good to snuggle with.
Gru: [after Agnes sell the Fluffy Unicorn; runs over to her] Agnes, what are you doing?
Agnes: Since you don't have a job, I just wanted to help.
Dru: You ready to continue the family tradition, you and me?
[admiring a handful of weapons]
Gru: I left that life behind me.
Dru: Just one heist?
Dru: [slipping down Bratt's tower toward spikes] Ah! I'm gonna be impaled! Ahh!
[stops an inch away from the spikes]
Dru: Ha ha, I'm okay!
Dru: [to Lucy] You must be his beautiful wife!
[spins Lucy into his arms]
Lucy Wilde: Oh!
Lucy Wilde: Stop it!
[tugs on Dru's scarf]
Lucy Wilde: Sweet talker.
Dru: [jumping up and down while "hugging" Gru] Who doesn't love this guy? Look at him! Oh, the hair would make you better.
[lightly punches Gru all over, who tries to stop him]
Dru: Look at his face! Oh, he's so mad!
[does an impression of Gru's face]
Gru's Mom: [shows Gru pictures of when he and Dru were babies] Shortly after you and your brother were born, your father and I divorced, and we each took one son.
[crumples up the pictures]
Gru's Mom: Obviously,
Gru's Mom: I got second pick.
Gru: I have a twin brother!
Balthazar Bratt: You know, Clive, playing a villain on TV was fun... but being one in real life is even better! Heist music!
Clive the Robot: Here it comes.
[puts cassette on radio; "Take My Breath Away" plays]
Balthazar Bratt: What? Clive, what are you doing? How is that heist music!
Clive the Robot: Sorry, my bad.
[Flips cassette over; "Bad" by Michael Jackson plays]
Gru: [to Agnes] We're going to be fine.
Agnes: I just wanted to help, since you don't have a job. I got two whole dollars!
Gru: How about we steal the largest diamond in the WORLD?
Lucy Wilde: [to Gru and Dru] Aw, it's so nice to see that you two are getting along. Oh, that's delightful. Not creepy at all. You're gonna stop now though, right?
Margo: Uh, it's okay to tell them no sometimes, too, you know. Moms need to be tough.
Military Guard: [steps on Bratt's bubble gum] Ew...
Valerie Da Vinci: [looking at a photo of Bratt's attack on a military ship] It's some kind of monster!
Silas: Wait, that's not a monster!
Silas: That's a man wearing shoulder pads. There's only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated... Balthazar Bratt. I want every agent on the scene immediately!
Balthazar Bratt: This is not over!
[overpowers Gru with gun]
Military Officer: [to Bratt as he attempts to steal the largest diamond in the world] Freeze!
[Bratt throws an exploding 80s rubix cube at him and other guards]
Lucy Wilde: Agents Grucy are closing fast!
Gru: Yes! Wait, wha? What did you call us?
Lucy Wilde: Grucy. You know, Gru and Lucy mushed together. Grucy.
Gru: [laughs] I like it, but not a lot. I don't like it.
Gru: [sees a military ship covered in Bratt's bubble gum] WHAAA?
Gru: [hanging naked from strings of bubble gum; passes a window with a group of people singing happy birthday who start laughing and taking photos] Happy Birthday dear Dan. Happy Birthday...
Minions: [watching from binoculars] ... to you!
Dru: So, how are things career-wise?
Gru: [lying] Ha ha, great! So so great, crushing it...
Lucy Wilde: Get ready!
Gru: Get ready for wha...
[Lucy propels him off his water bike and onto a military ship]
Gru: ... aaaaAAAAHH...
Balthazar Bratt: Hello, Gru.
[threatens Gru with his large gun]
Balthazar Bratt: Ha ha!
Gru: [knocks the gun away] Oh, what about that?
[squirts a squirt gun in Bratt's face]
Gru: Wha? Agh, girls!
[tries to punch Bratt, who slides beneath him]
Balthazar Bratt: Dance fight!
[dodges, dances, and sings all at once as Gru tries to catch him]
Lucy Wilde: Nobody, NOBODY curses my daughter, you got that? Because if you mess with Margo, you mess with me! And I promise, you do not want to mess with me! Do you understand me?
Valerie Da Vinci: You let the most wanted villain just get away! You're fired!
Minion: [looks at a statue of a Gru relative and laughs; to another Minion] Hey, sesct Gru gon boobs!
Dru: [to Gru] I brought you here to continue the family business. Villainy is in your blood!
Dru: [about the Despicamobile] Goes zero to 400 in three seconds, able to withstand a nuclear blast, armed to the teeth...
[Deploys dozens of weapons]
Gru: [laughs] Okay, that's pretty nice!
Dru: And it's a hybrid.
Gru: [about villainy] I left that life behind me.
Dru: I understand. Hmm, I wonder what this does.
[pulls down a lever which reveals the Despicamobile]
Gru: Ho ho ho! Holy moly!
Dru: Become a villain again.
Mel the Minion: [singing onstage in the Sing competition with other Minions] Pito pato milo mila taka tiki poulet tika Cepa la joi demitoka lana moule macarena. Pao leggis pabo pati mele cepa maka guta mami lebel mela mustache elle muchaaaa...
Agnes: [to the Scar Faced Man] You saw a for real, like, unicorn? What did it look like? Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it FLUFFY?
The Scar Faced Man: It was so fluffy... I thought I was gonna die!
[Agnes smiles and screams extremely loud]
Lucy Wilde: [outside the shop] Agnes!
[breaks in and severely attacks everyone]
Lucy Wilde: Excuse me!
[grabs a dart from someone and puts it in another person]
Lucy Wilde: Don't worry, I'm here!
[picks Agnes up]
Lucy Wilde: Are you okay?
Edith: Yeah, we're fine. Are you...?
Agnes: Unicorns are really real! And I'm gonna find ONE!
[happily runs outside the shop]
Lucy Wilde: [to everyone who is knocked out on the floor after she attacked them] Sorry. Went a little mamma bear on ya. You know, I heard a scream and... Yeah, okay. Have a good one!
[from TV Spot]
Valerie Da Vinci: Agent Gru, YOU'RE FIRED!
Lucy Wilde: If you fire him, you're gonna have to fire me. Do you really wanna do that? Alu-ya.
[guards throw them out]
Lucy Wilde: Well, I guess she did.
[from TV Spot]
Gru: Minions, we're going back to villainy!
[from TV Spot]
Prisoner: [accidentally kicks a ball the the Minions, who take advantage of it] Hey, give that back!
[Minions refuse and attack]
Prisoner: [to a Minion after they all shower] We've been waiting a long time.
Prisoner: [Minion whips him with towel] No, no!
[from TV Spot]
[Minions come into prison room snapping fingers]
Prisoner: Oh, no. Run!
Gru: [on a boat, which is zooming toward Bratt's tower] I'm going in. Take the wheel.
Dru: Ah, I still don't see why I can't go with you!
Gru: Hey, we've discussed this! Now is not the time to mess with the plans!
[Gru shoots up onto the tower]
[show them a Hawaiian decorated tree]
Gru: [irritated] This is unexpected...
Margo: [puts a lei with flowers on it on Gru] Well, you never got to go on a honeymoon, so...
Edith: [recording with her phone] ... we made you dinner!
Agnes: It's a luau!
[hands Lucy a lei with flowers on it]
Agnes: We got pineapples and coconuts and ukuleles!
[drags Lucy as Margo drags Gru]
Gru: [irritated still] Oh, yay...
Gru: [about the hundreds of Bratt dolls in his lair] He must have bought them all. Who would want a doll like this?
Dru: Ooh, I used to have one of these!
Gru: You didn't have to do that, though. I know you love your job.
Lucy Wilde: I love other things more.
Lucy Wilde: Let's get him.
Gru: Honey, he's my brother. We'll give him a 5 minute head start.
Balthazar Bratt: You've ruined everything! And now it's time to die! Any last words, Gru!
Gru: You know what? I got two words for you: dance fight!
Balthazar Bratt: Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong!
Fritz: Excuse me.
Gru: [sighs] Hey, could you...?
[hands Fritz the vacuum wand to a vacuum]
Fritz: Oh, uh, of course. Now, as I was saying...
[vacuum turns into a small rocket]
[the rocket launches with Fritz holding onto it]
Dru: [to Gru] My brother!
[jumps up and down and hugging Gru]
Dru: Finally I'm meeting you!